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Just a Note on What You Might Find Here

I have just been typing this shit up directly into Notepad++ and while I mostly notice when I spell something wrong or have poor word choice, I probably miss a lot, too. Particularly with movie logs, I have to just dump it out half-formed and move on. If I remember something I want to add I add it. Dates are just when I logged the movie not necessarily when I finished writing the entry.

Y'know while I'm on the topic. While I can be a stubborn person in some respects, I try to be mailable malleable about my opinions on media. I notice I tend to soften on things over time. I also think its too easy to hate art and overestimate its badness. That said, I'm mortal; I hate stuff all the time. If I hate something you love or hate something for what you discern to be bad reasons, maybe you're right. I might yet come around. Or maybe you're wrong, ever think of that?

Anyway, what even is bad. If it captures, maybe there's some aspect to it that is good, or - even more stimulating - could be good. Sometimes I become obsessed with something that is technically "bad" in some way, maybe more than if it was perfect. I mean, look at my shrines page ... But that's art, baybee!

Other than that, don't be surprised if something appears or disappears or is somehow altered

Chaplin Film Commentary Track notes

Watched the commentaries on Criterion Channel for City Lights and The Great Dictator

• "Chaplin's mustache is smaller in this film than in any other film in which he played the Tramp"
• "Here the Tramp simpers. This is called pansy humor in the 1930s"
• "As we've noted earlier, Chaplin's relationship with barbers was indeed complex."
• "... Chaplin conspired to fatten him for his role by serving him rich, delicious meals ..."
• -when was first pie in face?
• Who you get to hobnob with if you are Charlie Chaplin: Gandhi, Churchill, Einstein ig "he even had John Steinbeck [...] help with some of the passages. But [...] he discarded everything that Steinbeck had contributed." lol
• supposedly some critics didn't like the speech at the end of the Great Dictator oh my god! imagine being that wrong, professionally. Maybe this is the benefit of hindsight; in 1940, there was considerable hesitancy about engaging in the war, and just widespread indifference or just support of Nazism. It also now has appeal as a stand alone scene to post online now that we have that capability. that's how I personally saw it first. But within the context of the movie and outside it ... its perfect
• hey wait a second, is this guy woke? (when he's not an asshole)

Taking Up Space

I struggle with existing ... I find it uncomfortable to be seen. When I was a child, I think I learned that it was safer to stay quiet. Better yet to stay out of sight. Expressing opinions makes you vunerable. What you like or dislike says something about what you've experienced, what you know.

Its likely that I avoided a lot of bullying this way. I knew there was something intrinsic about me that could put other people off. I could tell that there were many social trip wires that I lacked the ability to navigate.

I was also hyper-aware of others' judgement because my own family was inordinately judgemental toward others. My parents often used me to vent their frustrations about work, even when I was just a preschooler. The TV was always on, and unempathetic assessments were doled out to anyone who crossed the screen. I knew there were wrong ways to be, and that list seemed endlessly expanding. Thus, the safest way to be is not to be.

Shrink yourself long enough and you'll disappear completely. You'll avoid everything that constitutes living. And, ironically, it won't even save you. Your lack (or perceived lack) of interiority will make it impossible to authentically connect with other people.

Once you're entrenched in the habit of hiding yourself it can be tough to dig yourself out. So I've been trying cultivate myself in small ways. This website is one. Its anonymous and unlikely to even be seen by anyone, but its a bit like taking a walk. Or sitting in a cafe. Its enough for me, right now, to take up space.

I just don't think I can do regular blog posts. I don't do enough interesting stuff and I'm too shy to share daily thoughts extemporaneously or something. Probably why I never got into twitter. And anyway, its hard enough to remember to journal privately. Feeling like I need to update this section just adds pressure that makes things less fun ... So the dated posts are banished. Instead if I have thoughts on some specific topic I will put it here. Keeping the movie/book log though, I love doing that (although I will fall behind I'm sure).

Girl with Hyacinths [1950]

I loved this. Like Brief Encounter, Girl with Hyacinths has a nonlinear structure where it starts with the ending and context is revealed in flashback. Essentially, after the central character, Dagmar, commits suicide, her writer neighbor becomes invested in uncovering the reason why. Dagmar is fascinating. While some context is revealed about her personal relationships, much of her inner world is a mystery, even by the end of the film. She becomes a kind of mirror for the characters that surround her and for the viewer. There are certainly some defined aspects to her character - she's lonely, and deeply wanting connection. She involves herself with people hoping for her love to be reciprocated but she is always let down. The specifics of her person - her thoughts, her likes and dislikes, her opinions - are otherwise obscure. The people interviewed about her project their image onto her. Her father assumes the worst about her. Her fascist-sympathizing ex-husband (sorry he said he's not sympathetic he just thinks they run a good shop!) doesn't trust her. Her ex-partner, the painter, at times despises her and other times pedestalizes her. She becomes part of the mythic tragedy that fuels his art. The singer, who vainly loves himself, assumes Dagmar killed herself because she must have loved him.

A thread dangles through much of the movie about a character named Alex who had written a love letter to Dagmar in the past - one that Dagmar's husband destroyed before she could ever see it. Its revealed that this Alex is actually a woman, a former classmate who had been abroad in Germany. The beginning scene is revisited. Alex cryptically alludes to her collaboration with Germans during the war, and this appears to disturb Dagmar. This is the incident that brings Dagmar to suicide. This is the final betrayal - the true love that she had been holding in her heart through all of these disappointing relationships had let her down in the deepest way.

What fascinates me more is that the writer, Anders Wikner who had spent the whole film investigating Dagmar's death believe's the singer's story that she killed herself over him. Its his wife, Britt, who actually puts the pieces together about Alex - and yet she chooses not to tell him. She is the one person who gets to have the complete picture of Dagmar. Does she choose to hide this information to protect Dagmar's memory? Because of shame? Or perhaps she feels some connection herself to Dagmar, and wants to keep that feeling just for herself.

This is the kind of movie I love because I can mull over these characters endlessly. There's just enough to hint at what motivates them and how they see each other, but its largely left up to interpretation. Did Dagmar really love these men or was she just trying to fill the gap left by Alex? How would she have reacted to the letter? Was her revulsion at Alex influenced or complicated by her relationship with her ex-husband, a soldier with his own political and moral baggage? There are so many gaps. Wikipedia references a Variety review that seems to consider this a weakness or reflective of shallowness. I think its the exact opposite. That structure and its ambiguity perfectly match how other characters view Dagmar, how she's disconnected from others and perhaps even herself. It reflects the chilling effect of homophobia, how that secret shuts her off from expressing her authentic feelings to others.. Dagmar seems hollow and shallow to Mr. Wikner, too, because he is unwilling to fill in the gaps of information, instead taking his discoveries at face value. Its his wife who recognizes the truth, perhaps because there is some hidden aspect of herself that allows her to consider the possibility.

Time Bandits [1981]

There are individual elements that I liked, but overall it was a bit aimless and often dragged. The conclusion was memorable for avoiding the kind of sappy, comforting ending that I tend to expect from a 1980s kids film. Not that I necessarily object to that kind of ending, but it wouldn't have been right here.

Phantom Thread [2017]

You gotta be careful as a pissy autistic queer* ... you can't be making your problems someone else's problems. Learn to leave the room when the toast crunching gets out of hand. I have personal experience here, listen to me. Your loved ones should not want to incapacitate you with poison. Well, I guess its all in good (freaky) fun.

*I'm a confirmed bachelor, he informs Alma. Glazed over expression. Whatever. She makes it work.

The Gold Rush [1925]

Rewatch. Was fitting to watch for New Years. I love it ...

Last ExMas [2024]

Ugh, by the end I just hated these people. I was hoping they just would all break up or something. Like, why are they so juvenile? They dated in high school and broke up on bad terms. One was obviously more in the wrong. But at the same time, it was fucking ten years ago. At this point you are essentially adults beefing with the distant memory of teenagers. Except evidently neither of these characters matured in any perceivable way so ... By the end, I had no reason to believe the protaganists had anything meaningful between them. They suck.

A Room with a View [1995]

George is such weird guy, but obviously that's why he pulls Lucy. Also, I can't explain it, but he gives off a powerful bisexual aura. Well, it might be the swimming scene. But in the book, too.

Seven Samurai [1954]

I tend to feel a little resentment when samurai are presented as categorically heroic. In all my favorite samurai films, they're basically evil. They're clearly a mixed bag in this. Our seven seem to be the only good ones. I can accept that. The movie lives up to reputation. Its great.

Zootopia 2 [2025]

Zootopia 2 felt like a do-over. Like, you can probably just skip the first movie and watch this for the same experience, but better. I can't really argue with the execution. I did feel a bit frustrated that Judy was let off the hook for dangerously risking their lives repeatedly while Nick has gotta grovel for being mad about it. Judy didn't even know what the stakes of the case were for most of it. She would have been totally wrong to intervene if there had not been a twist villian reveal. But whatever, there was, so it doesn't really matter. Also, a bit irritating that the entire police force works against them to preserve the status quo power structures in both movies but the main characters just ... stay on. Can they just become freelance private eyes or something? Its not like they need to be cops to solve any of this shit anyway. But that's just me with my damn politics. Its fine. I wasn't too invested, but it made for a good theater experience.

Three Wishes for Cinderella [1973]

Its fun to see what is apparently a European Christmas movie staple. There's a lot of beautiful scenery and costumes. Cinderella got to crossdress and got weapons. I always support that.

Sleepless in Seattle [1993]

Every time I watch a romcom with Tom Hanks I'm kinda startled. They made a lot of them. He's just some guy to me. I say that as someone who watched Splash religiously as a kid (idk). I guess I was just there for mermaid Daryl Hannah. Anyway.

I can't deny the charm of this film. It is cute as hell. The anticipation/suspense of the ending was really effective. There are some minor things that detract from it, maybe. But I'll likely revisit this one in the future.

Brief Encounter [1945]

I was already familiar with this film through osmosis and through its influence on Haynes' Carol. Seeing it now I appreciate better what a clever decision it was to connect The Price of Salt to Brief Encounter - there's already a lot of similarity in how the stories are structured. I guess that's something to think about when I watch it next (which will probably be soon, for Christmas reasons).

Its beautiful. Its human. I don't anticipate much compassion for adultery (or coming close to it) in 1940s film, but this certainly has it. You get so much insight into Laura that its easy to understand how she falls for Alec despite ostensibly having a good life and loving husband. I don't know, I guess I expect a picture like this to justify it by having her husband be evil, or just ... having her die at the end as penance. It is a sad end, of course, but not as overtly moralizing as something like Remember the Night where the leads are shamed by other characters and have to castigate themselves for their even lesser transgressions. (Don't know why I reach for that movie, I guess because its December and I don't have a lot of touchstones for 1940s romance. lmao).

I guess to me, there's a difference between characters ending their romance because of some abstract sin and ending it because they know they already have a life they value ... naturally, shame and social judgment matters to these characters, too, but I don't feel like I'm encouraged to side with it.

The Empire Strikes Back [1980]

Rewatch of the De-Specialized Edition. I love everything in it ... if I saw this in 1980 I would have fucking died probably.

Beau Travail [1999]

Obviously, I like the subject matter. I thought the way the typical gaze was subverted was very effective. By that I mean, it frames the colonial power as odd, ritualistic, and backward, and has the local people looking at them as a strange curiosity when ususally film depicts the opposite. And of course, there's no presumption of male gaze. I think an insecure heterosexual guy would probably not make it through all the glistening muscled bodies slamming together.

Overall, its interesting, I approve, but it didn't 100% connect with me. It seems like a movie that might rise in my estimation over time, though.

Star Wars [1977]

Rewatch of the De-Specialized Edition. What can I say.

Safe [1995]

Rewatch. Ironically, I got sick from a sinister chemical and threw up while watching this movie (I ate ibuprofen for a headache and it upset my stomach).

Safe depicts a housewife, Carol, as she struggles with the onset of a mysterious illness. What the illness is, or whether its origin is physical or psychological (or whether there is a meaningful difference), is left ambiguous. She concludes that she has a form of "environmental illness," or multiple chemical sensitivity, a controversial diagnosis with variable symptoms thought to be caused by exposure to toxic substances.

The truth is less clear, although it seems like "environment" is a definite contributing factor. Her enviroment is sterile and artifical in every sense. Physically, she's living in this mansion of a house, decked out with quintessential 1995 catalogue furniture - glass tables, floor to ceiling mirrors, wall to wall cream carpets, peachy pink and seafoam everywhere - stuff that an Aesthetic™ blog would be posting with #liminalspaces tags. Its well appointed but somehow deeply uncomfortable to be in.

Emotionally, her life seems as empty as her house. All of her conversations are superficial. Whenever dialogue gets close to emotional realness, it quickly diverts; her friend, for example, mentions how run down she feels after her brother's funeral, which is why she started a fruit diet. Ok. Characters are constantly doing these drive-by conversations where they allude to heavy feelings but are unwilling to engage with them more deeply. Carol, herself, exhibits this most of all, constantly masking her feelings, and (seemingly) transmuting her alienation and trauma into physical illness because of it.

The cult-like wellness community at the end could be marginally better than her husband and friends. It at least offers some potential connection to other people. Carol even has a few momentary emotional breakthroughs, and there's a willingness by others to open up in a serious way. But, unfortunately, their ego-tripping leader covertly encourages victim blaming and clearly profits immensely from the camp's attendees. The end leaves Carol's future uncertain.

The notion that your mental wellness and physical health are connected is hardly a new concept. The idea that trauma can directly weaken your immune system has been popularized by books like The Body Keeps the Score, although evidence is somewhat ambiguous. It seems to have some kind of relationship but we don't understand that much about it. Yet this affects all kinds of people, so what do we all do? Carol is in a bind that a lot of us are in. We're surrounded by new, strange technologies that could have unknown impacts on our health. We're all fucked up, maybe from shit we don't even consciously remember or can't directly acknowledge. How can we know the source of our ailments when there are so many unqualified variables around us? Medical practitioners on these matters are often just as in the dark as patients, and some take advantage by presenting themselves as the one true authority. Like in Safe, we're left in the lurch.

Powwow Highway [1989]

Rewatch. This should be one of those movies that everyone in the United States watches on a seasonal basis. Its so fucking fun. I love these two guys. I have thought about them both regularly since I first watched this movie two years ago.

It would be so easy for a movie like this to overdo it, make it preachy, or turn it into sadness porn, or, on the flip side, make the characters simply into jokes. There's a certain magic to the plot of the film; fortuitous coincidences abound, impossibilities occur. But the characters that drive it forward (that's a pun because this is a roadtrip movie) are as real as they come.

Buddy Red Bow is a practical, working class guy who is politically engaged and has a fiery temper that can get him in trouble. At times, he's a bully. But maybe you have to be that way when the world isn't willing to listen to you otherwise. He's learned to fight to survive, to get justice - but, oftentimes, he can't put that anger away.

Philbert Bono seems like Buddy's opposite. He's an endlessly sweet, serene (whirlwind) dreamer. He is passionate about the spiritual side of native culture and history, endlessly seeking information from whatever source he can come by.

Buddy has more growing to do than Philbert, certainly, but the film both presents this naturalistically. There's no fanfare for his change of heart, just the gradual softening of Buddy toward Philbert and his philosophy. Buddy might have something to learn, but the film never looks down on either of them; it presents the various ways native people react to oppressive forces neutrally, with the understanding that there is no singular correct response ... well, except for when you sell out your community for corporate profit. That's clearly wrong.

There are so many little details that say so much without saying it. This film is a full meal but its as short and sweet and fun as a dessert. Leaves you with full heart.

Black Christmas

I'm not typically a slasher person, but I was surprised by how well this worked for me. It felt mostly believable. Like, I know many slashers are intentionally over the top and fantastical to create more spectacle, of course they don't have to be realistic. But I get more scared if I can believe this could happen. The comic elements didn't overwhelm it either, sometimes I can't get invested because every character is such a caricature. There was a good balance to everything.

Stalker [1979]

This is just one of those movies that's hard to talk about, so maybe I'll digress. My partner said something about their moving through the zone feeling like a children's game. Where the rules are kind of arbitrary, its more about following each other and pretending like there's some invisible dangers. It made me think about childhood, too ... I spent a lot of time by myself playing in fields and streams. I would tell myself stories and imagine I was in some other place. It was a relief to be alone, even if I was lonely for it. Best of all was when it rained. A walk in the rain is still the closest I get to spiritualism. So, I guess I found myself unexpectedly affected by the imagery of this film.

Lez Bomb [2018]

Another Hallmark-esque Lesbian Holiday Film, wowee! I'm familiar with this one already because everyone on earth shit talked this one when it came out for some reason. Although, looking it up on Rotten Tomatoes just now, it has an astonishingly high rating. Letterboxd users seem to hate it. Hmm.

Since I've seen a few smaller budgeted movies of this nature already, I think my expectations were fairly modest. It might be kind of unreasonable to expect a radical subversive queer narrative out of a Thanksgiving comedy about upper middle class white gender conforming lesbians coming out to their family. That said, it was kind of obnoxious for that. This family lives on a golf course. They are scandalized by the uncle smoking weed. It sometimes feels like bigotry will manifest in the story but its like it can't directly appear. Like the main character is trying to come out but can't not because she's afraid of social rejection but because her family just nonstop talks over her. I know there's some brief weepies at the end that imply she was scared of rejection but before that its just kind of unspeakable. The grandpa is cryptically weird about religion, maybe, and carries around a rosary, but its not really clear if he has a problem with his gay granddaughter. It is clear the grandparents have a problem with polyamory - that bigotry is fine to speak plainly about.

Honestly, the movie is not that bad overall, especially the first half. I genuinely laughed at a lot of moments and I thought the family had a lot of memorable characters. The house was festive. Once they left the house, it went downhill in rapid fashion. Everything became too over the top and exaggerated, like the writer didn't know how to resolve the story in a serious way and just kept escalating. There's a whole pointless drug dealing subplot with the weed smoking uncle. Time seems to stretch. Food seems to have been done for hours yet we don't eat it. New characters show up out of nowhere. There are three different unwanted kiss events; MC's girlfriend kisses her brother to make her jealous, teenage niece kisses MC's best friend causing him to get chased by her wrathful parents, MC's best friend kisses MC and her girlfriend sees, pissing her off. That's too much, man.

At the end of it, everyone is mad at her for not coming out faster or something. But even if she planned on coming out and the girlfriend was adamant about it - surely its apparent that its not a good time to do it. Everyone is talking over everyone else, there was a fucking house fire, she's clearly kind of uncomfortable and not ready. Send a fucking email about it tomorrow. What actually pissed me off was the girlfriend, who was weirdly jealous and possessive and pushy about the coming out. They've been together 6 months. That's not that long all things considered. The movie validates her by revealing at the end that the best friend carries a torch for MC. But there really wasn't much cause up until that point. I just wish the movie didn't do that.

Most of the side characters just evaporate at some point leaving their plot threads dangling. The mom seems to be the soul survivor of Thanksgiving. Mother and daughter exchange some superficial supportive-of-gays dialogue. MC grovels to her girlfriend to take her back. Everything is her fault (when will girlfriend apologize for kissing her brother?). The end.

The conclusion is frustrating but overall it really isn't that bad. If you were in the mood for a meaningless family holiday comedy there might be enough to keep you entertained.

Body and Soul [1925]

This is a special movie. Even in the present day black filmmakers go unacknowledged; Micheaux was out there pioneering and yet seems unknown to most. The silent era is marked, unfortunately, by acute racism. Birth of a Nation was the biggest motion picture of its time and revitalized the KKK with its propagandistic mythology about their history. Blackface is rampant. Whiteness is presumed so ubiquitous in the silent era it might be a surprise to learn that, indeed, there are black films with black casts and black directors.

Body and Soul is pretty radical in its commentary even by current standards. The film takes aim at Christianity and its utility in exploitation. The story revolves around a escaped convict, Isaiah, who passes himself off as a reverend for the sake of status and money. He becomes interested in Isabelle, whose mother Martha Jane is one of his passionate congregants. Martha Jane is fanatical in her devotion to Isaiah, and hopes to have Isabelle marry him. Isabelle, however, wants to marry his estranged brother Sylvester, a respectable man, but poor. Martha Jane refuses, even disparaging him with a slur. Martha Jane forces Isabelle, through use of physical and emotional abuse, to be alone with Isaiah in hopes of encouraging a romantic connection. Isabelle runs away after the encounter, apparently also stealing the money her mother had been saving in the pages of their bible.

When Martha Jane finds Isabelle, she finds her starving and living in a hovel. Isabelle explains that she never stole the money - Isaiah did - but she knew her mother would never believe. Of course, her mother explodes into histrionics, accusing Isabelle of lying. Isabelle reveals that before her mother attempted to set her up with Isaiah, he had raped her. She dies not long after.

Isaiah is preaching his congregation into a hysterical frenzy when Martha Jane bursts in and accuses him of his crimes. He flees the church only to show up at Martha Jane's home, begging for help and forgiveness. She allows him to wait to avoid the mob searching for him, and lets him escape. But as he leaves he is attacked by a man and, after knocking him out, chooses to club him to death.

The conclusion is marred a bit by the reveal that the story was a dream in the mind of Martha Jane. This does allow for a happy ending where Isabelle marries her beau and they have a comfortable life. But it dulls the impact.

Thematically, there's a lot going on. Religion is being exploited to collect money from already poor folk. He gains status as a result. Wealth and status and the performance of piety play on Martha Jane's internalized biases which cause her to reject Sylvester's proposal to her daughter. These two men are identical, played both by Paul Robeson, so her racially charged rebuff of Sylvester implies her baggage relating to class and race.

Martha Jane's abuse is unusually plainly communicated; she pinches, prods, scolds, and hits her daughter to get her to do what she wants. Her rapid hot and cold attitude toward Isabelle clearly confuses and disempowers her. This leads to Isabelle concealing her rape. The oldest film I've seen illustrate the hesitancy of sexual assault victims to report. 100 years later and we still struggle to recognize that, let alone have empathy for it.

The church congregation is mob-like. They can be churned up into a comical delirium. Their devotion can be easily taken advantage of. Association with the church suggests virtue even when it isn't there. When Isaiah begs for mercy from Martha Jane, the intertitle reads "Forgiven" before he leaves - only for him to brutally kill a man unnecessarily. Considering the importance of forgiveness to Christianity, is this also a criticism meant to question the legitimacy of letting the guilty escape justice?

There are some stand out visuals as well. The flashback scene where Isabelle reveals the assault is terrifying. Paul Robeson does a great job walking the line between charming, charismatic and callous and selfish.

Apparently this film was recut and the director's cut was lost. Its a shame, because I wonder if some of the rough edges would have been softened if it wasn't modified to comply with regional censorship laws. Alas.

The Shop Around the Corner [1940]

It has a lot of funny dialogue and the winter atmosphere is basically unmatched. The side characters shine beautifully. But, I can't love it the way that I love Design for Living or To Be or Not to Be. It lacks that extra something, I guess. I did actually like it better than its internet age descendant, You've Got Mail. I just can't stand the big business corpo ending to that movie ... this one might be extraordinarily middle class and have some unethical boss/employee dynamics but at least Jimmy Stewart didn't intentionally destroy his girlfriend's family business.

A Special Day [1977]

Rewatch. Its a lot. I wrote way too much synopsis, as I often do processing something, so spoilers:

I think a story like this could've been easily fumbled, but I can't imagine a better way of telling it. Antonietta and Gabriele may appear to have little in common, but in reality they both are socially marginalized based on gender. Gabriele because he fails to perform his gender in a way that fulfills a fascist definition, and Antonietta because by being a woman, regardless of how rule abiding, fascist society will always hold her as subservient to men. Both characters have made considerable efforts to conform to this society but have been punished regardless of the outcome. Antonietta has lost herself to her social role. In her brief relationship with Gabriele we see her inner personality blossom. She is not allowed a moment to think of herself or her desires, instead forced to mechanically complete unending chores for an unappreciative family. When Gabriele offers the book, she refuses, thinking she would never have enough time. When Gabriele insists on her keeping it and staying for coffee, it opens the door sealing off her inner life. She looks in the mirror and sees herself, bothering to add a curl to her hair and pinch blush into her cheeks. I wonder if anyone asks her about herself; it doesn't seem like her family would. But Gabriele does, and its easy to imagine how, despite everything she purports to believe, his simple interest and kindness would cause her heart to stir. This man admires and respects his own mother, has the portraits of women hanging on his apartment's walls, helps her without her asking (although its hard to imagine she would dare ask in the first place), and talks to her implicitly as an equal. People respond to being treated with dignity. She may have been told that women are mental inferiors and believe it when she's never been treated as anything different. But when someone recognizes your inherent worth and helps you feel it, it can change your whole world.

Gabriele recieves something from her, too. He is devistatingly alone today. The entire complex, apparently, has left to celebrate the evil that drives his persecution. He knows that in a matter of hours, he will be taken away. What overwhelming alienation. And yet, by some strange miracle of coincidence, a myna bird brings this unlikely ally. She, too, has been left behind by the rest. So while she seems invested in fascism, the attachment is superficial. She may like the fascist parade photos in the newspaper and the airplanes but she's got more in common with him than them.

Surprisingly, maybe, I think the sex is my favorite part of this whole film. I wonder if the sex scene, if placed into a modern movie, wouldn't recieve some knee-jerk criticism. There are some stories that have a gay character enticed so by a straight love interest that they 'give up' their queerness and go straight. Of course this doesn't usually account for bisexuality. But I think these are objectionable because they erase or 'fix' the character's queerness to make them more palatable for the straight audience. That is not what this film is doing. Explicitly, Gabriele clarifies that he has not been changed by the encounter. He has done what countless gay men have done forever. Getting off is quite possible with someone you're not attracted to. In this instance, it feels like such a complex exchange. From his expression, its hard to know exactly what he feels. It seems, in a genuine desire for emotional closeness and affection for her, he acquiesces to her advances. Touch is touch. When you are lonely, that can be enough. Gabriele probably wouldn't go along with it under different circumstances, but this is what they can give each other with the time that is left.

There is also this implication, though, that it is in service to her passions and in absence of his. In some way, their encounter is a benevolent, inverted mirror to the sex Antonietta must have with her fascist husband. Antonietta has had six children with a man who is unwilling to see her as a full person with her own desires. Its almost impossible to imagine mutual pleasure between them. At the end of the film, he expects her, disregarding her consent in the matter, to get pregnant with another child. Sex is for him, and even more it is for procreation, because we know that he has affairs for his pleasure. In contrast, Gabriele is willing to consent expressly for Antonietta's fulfillment. There is still something shared by both of them - a closeness, an understanding, amelioration of loneliness - but the romantic attraction is Antonietta's alone. But both understand, and its okay.

Sex is so critical to the film because fascism is fixated on controlling sex. Fascism targets sexual deviancy as a means of social control. Homosexuals, transexuals, pornography, extramarital sex, whatever, all get villianized and/or criminalized, because its a convenient scapegoat and an easy way of mobilizing sexually 'normative' people against your regime's political opposition. The idealized contrast is the heterosexual marriage, producing as many children as can be afforded. Men are privileged by being allowed to take part in society, women are sequestered at home where they perform necessary but uncompensated labor. Ultimately, the majority of people are disempowered. For Antonietta to be disatisfied by her 'ideal' life and to get satisfaction from a subversive man upends the entire narrative fascism constructs around sexuality and gender roles.

Behind the Screen [1916]

I don't always log shorts but I like this one. I'm a simple man (≆), I like to see pies being thrown. I like seeing the Tramp getting his ass kicked. Make him carry 18 chairs and a piano. I will laugh. Massive bonus with me whenever he gets into some queer situation ... this time his boss homophobically taunts him for smooching a guy (actually a woman crossdressing for the job).

The Tramp seems more malevolent the earlier the short. Like he is scabbing. And while she was on board with it, I guess, you can't be kissin coworkers like that, its harassment. Damn clown thinks he can do whatever he likes.

Barbie: Spy Squad

I feel like I'm usually pretty generous to these animated Barbie movies but not so much today. It spent a lot of time on stuff that just wasn't much fun, and didn't take advantage of the potential. Barbie is already suited for spy thrillers, right? She's a hyper-competent woman with thousands of alter-egos built in to her brand, hundreds of stylish cars, boats, planes and accessories ready to be converted into spy gear. Instead we made her a teenage gymnast. Okay, whatever, so that could be a Totally Spies thing. But even then I think it missed it. The squad just doesn't do much spy stuff, and what little they do they rush out of as fast as possible. All they did was rappeling and backflips. They have tech that lets them completely change their faces and then they don't use it for anything. C'mon.

Eyes Without a Face [1960]

Solid all around. Great example of what horror can be. At the end of the day, a story about control. Makes me want to revisit The Skin I Live In.

Design for Living [1933]

Rewatch. Its actually disgusting how much I love this movie. I am sick. I'm ill. I've been poisoned. Its like if The Philidelphia Story let everyone make out at the end.

Fuck marriage, fuck monogamy, fuck advertising, and also fuck each other, but do that lovingly. I'm used to a Hollywood woman having thinking about sex being shamed for it, punished for it, or restored to the rightful, virtuous state of monogamous marriage. And yet Gilda admits she had sex with both of the lead men within a day. And before them there were others, too. And yet that doesn't reduce Gilda's appeal - it enhances it. Gilda sees the potential of these two long-term co-habitating bachelors from the start and she makes it clear she wants them both to reach their potential. Her presence in their lives positively impacts their artistic pursuits and their professional connections.

The only thing holding them back are their egos - their artistic and romantic rivalry with each other make them jealous and spurned when the other is with Gilda.

I always see Gilda herself as patiently waiting for them to realize that if they drop their egos, they can both have her. She tells them she loves them both. But after sleeping with Tom (after she slept with George) feelings are hurt and Gilda leaves the two of them, unwilling to choose one over the other. Instead, she tries to play it straight and marry a boring stiff who only thinks about his advertising career. Though this is in alignment with her purported philosophy at the start of the film - she tells George to give up painting for commercial art - in practice she hates it. She quickly comes to resent her marriage and her husband who constantly pressures her to schmooze with clients.

Gilda is at the end of her rope while hosting a party at her home. But then, unexpectedly, her two boys turn up. All hard feelings are gone, and they're all laughing together again. By the end of the movie, Gilda's bailed on her marriage and the straight life. Riding in the back of a taxi, Tom kisses Gilda, then George kisses her.

I am grateful to live in the reality where we got this movie and ungrateful for the Hays code for ruining whatever polyamorous bisexual shit we could have had in the 40s. *spits*

The Thin Man [1934]

The chemistry between the leads is so incredible. Its so rare to have a married couple (in a movie anyway) that actually act like friends and flirt. I would have been content if these characters just hung out for 90 minutes, but its a mystery too. Also really taking advantage of the end of prohibition!

Fanchon, the Cricket [1915]

I was going to start by saying this is my first time watching Mary Pickford but apparently that's not true; I saw some earlier shorts where she played minor parts. But this is my first time seeing her lead in a full length movie. She's charming. I see why she was such a star.

Fanchon is a mischievous girl who is raised by her witch-like grandmother in the forest. She's a complete outsider, but she longs to connect with the villagers she often sees frolicking and dancing. When she tries to socialize, they scorn her - except for one boy, Landry. After several encounters, they become smitten with each other. Landry wants to marry Fanchon, but she refuses because she knows Landry's father would never give his support. But when Landry falls ill, his father is convinced to let her see him - and she nurses him back to health.

I'm not very familiar with the source material, but it sounds fairly different from the adaptation. For example, Landry has a brother who, in the novel, seems to be more or a romantic rival that Landry has conflict with. In the film, his brother is played more like he has some cognitive disabilities or neurodivergent in some way. This otherization leads to an alliance with Fanchon when he is bullied and ostracised by the rest of the group. Fanchon even physically fights a guy to protect him. She's kind to him when even his father abuses him. Interesting.

Fanchon is kind of a proto manic pixie dream girl (non-derogatory; only in the sense that she embodies many of associated characteristics, other than one-dimensionality). She's a whimsical free-spirit that cuts her own path in life and never takes shit. She's wonderful. Plus she dressed up as a ghost to scare townsfolk, naturally that scores a lot points with me.

The otherwise spectacular restoration has an ... original score created for it. It doesn't match well; I turned it off part way through. Personally, I'm no purist with silent film scores unless they are synchronized scores. You should just put on something you like.

Anyway, I liked this one. I probably wouldn't recommend it to someone as their first silent film, but maybe if someone was already interested it could be a good choice.

Mulan [2020]

I disliked pretty much every aspect of this movie. I didn't enjoy looking at it. I think the alterations to the story made it worse. It didn't exactly piss me off; it was so bland I felt nothing. I didn't know how to rate it. It represents a lot of the worst aspects of Disney as a company ... but arguably this remake at least tried to inject some original material. When those additions weaken the story, though, what good is that?

Dot and the Whale [1986]

The serene music over images of sea life was chill. The animation had its moments. When they shelled out (hah.) for an illustrated background it was considerably more interesting. Kind of bleak.

Odd Man Out [1947]

Visually impressive movie. Accents were pretty noticeably off at times, even to my foreign ear. It tried very hard to stay apolitical, which I think hurt it.

The Floorwalker [1916]

1916 elevators and escalators scare me. I feared for the Tramp's life.

The Penalty [1920]

Lon Chaney plays a legless gangster called "Blizzard" who is running some kind of straw hat sweatshop. He plans to organize a bunch of foreign malcontents (read: scary Reds) to riot in San Fransisco, allowing him to loot it.

Blizzard is evil but he's kind of awesome. His legs were wrongly amputated as a child due to medical malpractice. As a result, he seemingly turned to a life of crime to get by, and it hardened him. He's abusive and pretty categorically evil. You can glimpse a better version of him, at times. He has a love for playing piano. He has an understanding of art. You get the sense that if the world had been kinder, maybe he would have been, too.

The doctor that amputated Bizzard's legs as a child is now a top surgeon. Blizzard coerces him into attempting a leg transplant - of course, taking the legs of the doctors future son-in-law. An insane plan considering during surgery, y'know, Blizzard will be unconscious and the surgeon could just ... not do that. Instead, the surgeon performs some kind of brain surgery that makes Blizzard ontologically good now. Some kind of proto-lobotomy I guess. Unfortunately, not long after he turns a new leaf, he is shot dead by a former lackey.

There's a lot of potential underlying the story. Though obviously playing into First Red Scare fears, there's an interesting line drawn between disability and left-wing politics. But it doesn't actually say anything meaningful about it. Disabled people are scary and greedy and vengeful probably. Foreigners and laborers are basically animals that want to cause chaos for no reason. We are even meant to feel that this malpracticing doctor who wrongly cut off a kid's legs should continue practicing. Like, second chances are great. But in real life that kind of doctor usually keeps making them. Especially if, like in this film, his colleagues help cover these incidents up.

All those issues are kind of background though. The Penalty is fun to watch. Chaney gives a great performance.

The Living Daylights [1987]

This is actually what I want James Bond to be. Car skis. Sledding on a cello case. Lots of sightseeing. Goofy characters. I couldn't tell you what the fuck was going on in the plot and I don't care.

Christmas at the Ranch [2021]

I've already forgotten most of this, but I know I was dissatisfied with most of it.

The Lodger [1927]

I loved this. Hate to give it to Hitchcock but he keeps doing it.

I find it kind of silly that this movie was remade a couple years later to be a sound film. With the same lead. Which, by the way, that guy looks like he popped out of a Leyendecker painting.

The Petrified Forest [1936]

Loved this. Fun to see Bette Davis (always) and Leslie Howard opposite each other again, although their roles are radically different from Of Human Bondage.

As an aside, I noticed a lot of reviews will feel compelled to add a caveat that, while they loved the movie, its based on a play and staged like the play. And they've got to do a bit of self-flagellation and drop their rating as recompense. I'm not necessarily saying everyone doing that is wrong or performative about doing so. But I've felt the pressure myself. I've been slowly working through Paul McEwan's book Cinema's Original Sin and he mentions some early arguments about cinema as an art form hinged on separating it from theatre. Silent film particularly seemed to many like an inferior version of theatre, after all, nobody can even speak and actors can't engage with the audience. Naturally, proponents of film highlighted the various ways film was different; the camera can move, you can film on location, everything can be larger and grander.

I guess I wonder if this defensive impulse is just the echoes from the early days that every critic just repeats and others copy. Obviously, sometimes its justified to bring it up and that might very well be the case here. I just notice this criticism is levied at films and not so much at television (at least, I never see it.) Twilight Zone can have an episode which is functionally just a short movie that takes place in a single location with mostly a static camera, and it is acclaimed and some of the most widely watched media from the time period. Granted, some of that comes from time passing and TV being critically reevaluated. But.

I think its okay if a movie resembles the stage. Sometimes I actually think its for the best. This might be one such case, because I loved the set and the strange claustrophobia it generated. Claustrophobic but in a vast open desert. Its uncanny, and I think the fact that its a constructed soundstage set actually adds something to it.

Looking for Her [2022]

Admittedly, my standards are getting pretty low for these random Tubi lesbian romance films, but I kind of liked this one? There was actually some chemistry between the leads. The premise was contrived; a woman who was recently dumped hires an actor to play her ex while she visits her parents for Christmas. Why would she do that? I guess because her parents used to be homophobic and ... well whatever. Its just so we can have an unexpected romance bloom in a weird situation.

I liked that it was willing to acknowledged homophobia and didn't just sweep the MC's conflict with her parents under the rug. Her parents are fine now but that doesn't mean that their earlier rejection didn't wound her. Didn't love the resolution scene were her mom said "she always knew" her daughter was gay. I guess some people like hearing that, but that can have so much weird baggage attached to it. Especially since the mother was apparently a phobe, it reads like she was scrutinizing her daughter for stereotypical lesbian behaviors and just had her biases confirmed. Otherwise, a fine effort for what it is.

A Holiday I Do [2022]

Christmas lesbian horseranch romance with barely any romance happening. Fun that it exists, though.

Laura [1944]

Fantastic characters here. Laura herself is etherial, with the men of the story projecting their fantasies on her; her bouyant personality is inhibited by men who would rather shape her into what they want.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari [1920]

From Wikipedia: " [...] it was so well received that women in the audience screamed when Cesare opened his eyes during his first scene, and fainted during the scene in which Cesare abducts Jane." Because he's dreamy, right?

a pun ... he's a somnambulist ... ough

The Letter [1940]

I was just here for Bette Davis (I am predictable). She's great but the rest of this film is kind of forgettable.

Nosferatu the Vampyre [1979]

Maybe this is my favorite Nosferatu ...

Mad Monster Party [1967]

I was unaware of this Rankin/Bass Halloween special until making my Halloween watchlist this year. It features a selection of Universal Monsters attending a party hosted by Boris Frankenstein (voiced by Boris Karloff). Its cute to see various monsters animated in classic Rankin/Bass stop motion. But there's not a whole lot to it.

Little Monsters [1989]

Little Monsters is about a boy befriending a monster from under his bed. It sounds like it would be cute and wholesome. I guess it kind of is at points. Mostly its kinda Goosebumps-adjacent, with a lot of gross-out special effects and humor. Even some kind of lewd jokes that I'm not sure would have landed with the 11 year old target audience. Somewhat interesting to see the various monsters and their world; maybe if you really enjoyed seeing 1980s-90s special effects makeup you might get something out of this.

The Hands of Orlac [1924]

I knew I would love this. I love this. This is absolutely, 100% my exact shit. The premise is just a little bit stupid by modern standards -- not unlike Wolf Blood [1925], where a new-fangled medical treatment is suspected to change a person's personality.

Spoilers for a 100 year old movie:

Paul Orlac is in a train accident (cool) and since he is a pianist his wife Yvonne begs the doctor to save his hands at any cost. So the surgeon transplants the hands of a recently executed murderer, Vasseur, onto Orlac (cool). Orlac gets depressed and a little crazy about it, paranoid that the killer's nature has also somehow been grafted onto him.

Unable to play piano anymore, he and his wife fall into debt. Yvonne goes to Paul's rich evil father to beg for help but he says fuck no I hate that guy (uncool). Yvonne begs Paul to try asking him. When he goes over, he finds his father stabbed to death - in the same modus operandi as Vasseur!

He calls the police to the scene and awkwardly cowers in the corner while they investigate. The police are shouting out things like, this knife is the same as used by Vasseur! These are the fingerprints of Vasseur! Meanwhile, Orlac looks like he's about to cry and maybe throw up while hiding his hands behind his back.

Paul sneaks away and is flagged down by a man who tells Orlac that he is, actually, Vasseur. Somebody collected his head, I guess, after he was executed and stitched it back on. He even shows Orlac his prosthetic hands. Knowing that Orlac has Vasseur's fingerprints, he demands money or he will tell the police.

Orlac crawls pathetically home to his wife who tells him, with rationality unknown to the majority of film characters, to go to the police and just tell them he's being blackmailed. They do just that, and the police follow them to meet with "Vasseur."

Turns out that he is not Vasseur but the notorious con artist Nera. Nera contrived the whole situation and murdered Old Man Orlac to blackmail Paul for the inheritance money. He was actually wearing gloves that looked like prosthetics. And he even created gloves with Vasseur's fingerprints replicated on them.

So Orlac is off the hook, has tons of money, and doesn't have to worry about having evil hands anymore. Well, he still has evil hands, I guess.

I'll admit it, I'm kind of a Veidt Freak. Maybe this movie wouldn't work so well if he wasn't there whimpering pathetically. But that's what allows me to suspend disbelief enough for this story; I'm totally convinced this guy is psychologically fragile.

This perception is enhanced by Alexandra Sorina's performance as Yvonne -- she breaks down completely with the surgeon at the beginning of the film, pleading for him to save his hands even if it means he might die. Afterward, meeting Paul in the hospital, she specifically remarks on how she loves his hands. A lot hinges on this feature; they're his profession, presumably a source of joy and financial security, as well as prestige. His wife thinks they're hot (valid). All of these aspects form the foundation of his marriage, his whole life. He was just in a traumatic accident and now he's different. I would go a little insane, too.

The visuals are wonderful. The train crash site at the beginning is spectacular. Yvonne has ripped up clothes after crawling through the wreckage to find her husband. She looks as shell-shocked as you'd expect from such an experience. The cavernous rooms of the Orlac house are grand but eerie, empty, lonely. Incredible furniture by the way, that sofa. The super tall chair. Mwah. I love the dark street outside Papa Orlac's house. Its so delightfully spooky.

This is just an observation apropos nothing. But there's kind of an atypical dynamic between the couple ... Straight away, Paul is the one in danger and Yvonne is the one who rushes in to save him after the train accident. Yvonne is the more emotionally stable one, able to make rational decisions under pressure. She takes the initiative to meet with their creditors. She goes to ask her father-in-law for help. Yvonne has quite a bit of agency.

Meanwhile, Paul is kind of helpless. He's vunerable after his accident and needs looking after. He's emotionally distraught, becoming literally hysterical. He faints talking to Nera because he gets so scared. He's even somewhat objectified considering Yvonne values his hands over his life -- perhaps that's what he would want, too, but we never actually hear that from him. Tell me there isn't something to this when you see him come home after meeting Nera, collapsed on the floor in front of the sofa, getting head pats from his furious-faced wife ...

Anyway, I love that type of dynamic, so that doesn't hurt.

I could probably go on and on ...

Star Wars: The Last Jedi [2017]

Not nearly the trainwreck that Rise of Skywalker is. In fact, there are a lot of elements that I almost like or at least can see the potential of in isolation. But I still wish they'd spent the time doing something else.

I can't help but feel extremely bitter about Finn's trajectory ... he was easily favorite part of Force Awakens but the follow ups do everything possible to sideline or weaken his character.

Despite it all, this movie and Rise of Skywalker get a lot of airtime in my household because we find them fascinating.

The Fall of the House of Usher [1928]

Adaptation of the Poe story. A very visually interesting movie, particularly the sequence where they carry that coffin through the bog.

War for the Planet of the Apes [2017]

Caesar ...................

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes [2014]

Ape out!

Wolf Blood [1925]

This movie is kind of an interesting novelty, as the earliest surviving "werewolf" film. A logger gets a blood transplant from a wolf and thinks that he's wolfing out and killing people. He's not actually. I enjoyed seeing some of the incredible old growth forests they filmed at, although the quality of the film is degraded. But honestly there's just not a whole lot to this one.

Haxan [1922]

NoEntry

Ernest Scared Stupid [1991]

Really exciting to see Eartha Kitt here for some reason. Some of the special effects makeup was pretty delightful.

Nosferatu [2024]

NoEntry

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade [1989]

I think I like this one the best? I don't know. I'm not that investing in this franchise.

Dracula [1931]

That Jerusalem cricket emerging out of that tiny coffin at the beginning secured a five star rating instantly. I shouted out. What a cute funny bug!

Yes, the rest of the movie is great, too. It is a classic for good reason.

The Good Witch's Garden [2009]

I watched this?

Teen Witch [1989]

I could barely make it through this. I thought I would love it. No. Strange musical numbers. Bog-standard teen film plot. It didn't even bother tying up the plot threads at the end.

Underworld: Awakening [2012]

I don't really love the direction the story takes in this one, but it kind of doesn't matter. There's sort of a Logan thing going on with Selene and her hybid kid. It's ok.

ParaNorman [2012]

I've seen ParaNorman several times and it is always good fun. This film is a beautiful work of art and certainly one of Laika's best.

I do have mild grievances that are probably unfair to have about the witch ghost.

Take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt. This is such a nitpick.

I guess I'm kind of sick of framing abused kids as monsters for having difficult reactions to being tortured and abused. The movie was itself trying to show how she isn't just a monster, and that treating people like monsters creates them. I get it. But runtime and subsequent sympathy seemed to tilt a lot to the pilgrims who, I guess feel bad about it. Yes we know her in a sense because we know Norman, who has similar powers and is persecuted as well.

I dunno. Maybe the friction is more about the tiresome "you're just like them" always leveled at victims that don't act passively in the face of abuse. Indeed, she should not enact retaliatory against strangers because she was hurt. And I don't see much value in retribution against her persecutors. But in meaningful ways she is different from them, and her violence is different. She was othered by a community. She was a child. They were a mob of adults that chose to murder a child based on qualities that marginalized her.

Its obviously best for everyone if she stops cursing the town; but her culpability is basically nil. She is trapped, 100% isolated, in some kind of nightmare zone for hundreds of years. She is stuck with an uneducated child's understanding of the world. She was murdered. She was also forcibly sedated, essentially, by magic, unable to process what happened. Give her a break.

I think Nimona basically approaches this topic in a way that I find more satisfying.

The Good Witch [2008]

An extremely whatever romance film about a witch moving into a small town and dating a cop. Yeah. There's a bunch of sequels apparently.

Wendell & Wild [2022]

I love a lot of the ideas here, and I found the film as a whole very enjoyable. Its a delight to look at. I only wish it had an extra half hour or something.

The Little Witch [2018]

Not much to say about this since I only kind of half watched a dubbed version. It was cute.

Nosferatu [1922]

What can I say about this classic. Count Orloc is an icon. He loves his fancy rats.

Love, Simon [2018]

Since I read the book ...

Whatever flaws the book might have, it is warm, optimistic, and authentic. The film drains a lot of its character. Everything feels more sterile, less specific, more moralizing. While the characters in the book seem to have a life outside of Simon's view, the ones in the film are just shadows. Every plot event is exaggerated into something completely unreal. Anything that had even a slight edge to it has been removed. All complexity has been reduced to make things more palatable. And it was already a fairly meek story.

By the way, the ending Ferris wheel scene was out of control. Message was supposed to be 'people should be able to come out at their own pace' and Simon is just like, listen up everyone. I am inviting my anonymous email penpal to meet me at the Ferris wheel tonight. Please come watch. Doubly strange because when the blackmailer Martin asks his crush out in front of the whole school, its treated as an obviously bad idea and he is subsequently humiliated for it. But I guess if Simon does it, its cool.

Changes like this one - or removing the gay bar scene, or softening Simon's confrontation with his father about his homophobic jokes - contribute to disconnecting the events of the story from the themes about heteronormativity and homophobia.

Maybe the title change is fitting, considering this. The book's title Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda is calling back to an email exchange between Simon and Blue; Blue wishes everyone had to come out and Simon says it would be called the Homo sapiens Agenda (a play on homosexual agenda). That title tells me that this story is fundamentally about Simon's struggle with heteronormativity and the pressures it places on him. Love, Simon focuses more on getting a boyfriend, even if it mostly skips over why its so important to make this connection.

There are a lot of other details that I think worsen the story. Simon's sister Nora and BFF Leah don't reveal they're in a rock band at the end, subverting our assumptions about their identities and roles - Nora bakes (how unconventional) and Leah ... has a crush on Simon I guess. The bullying Simon recieves after being outed is made comical and resolved in a way that makes it even more farcical, causing it to feel unserious. Way too much time is spent with Martin, who is one-dimensional and unlikable.

Certainly, Love, Simon is not that bad. That's great, and I'm personally very happy to see gay movie exists. For many people, it gave an opportunity to broach the topic of queerness with their families. Perhaps society needs inoffensive gay movies to test potentially homophobic family members.

Underworld Rise of the Lycans [2009]

Could this be the best Underworld movie? It might be the tightest (maybe the wrong word. Maybe more like conventional.) construction, at least. Its a prequel detailing the origin of Lucian, a lycan from the first film. As a prequel set in a vague historical period it could hypothetically be watched stand alone without losing much.

In practice, I don't know if I enjoyed it as much as Underworld: Evolution because, candidly, I am watching Underworld movies to see Selene shoot one million bullets out of her gun. But there are some assets. Its quite fun to watch Michael Sheen do more as Lucian. And if you enjoy seeing hundreds of CGI werewolves then you're in luck.

My Best Friend is a Vampire [1987]

A teen boy navigates unexpectedly becoming a vampire.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this movie. Was kind of gobsmacked by the protaganist's parents thinking that he was gay and wanting to be supportive. The movie felt like a knowing allegory for queerness already ... I just didn't expect direct reference of any kind. Not that there weren't plenty of queer films coming out in 1987. Its just that its a teen comedy where the central romance plot is ostensibly hetero.

Also Rene Abourjounis was there as the protaganist's vampire mentor, which was awesome.

Underworld Evolution [2006]

What happened in this movie? I don't know, I don't have a clue. But I liked the ride. Selene hauls around her werewolf/vampire hybrid boyfriend Michael on a quest to do ... something. A lot of people have to get shot or chopped up or explode.

Selene levels up a bunch of times. Michael pretty much does nothing except one glorious scene where he goes to a pub and tries to eat human food but can't, causing him to puke and freak out. I found it relatable.

Fire and Ice [1983]

As everyone typically says, its flawed. But it looks great. Probably enjoyable to anyone who also likes Conan or He-Man.

Quantum of Solace [2008]

I couldn't possibly explain what happened in this movie.

Fantastic Four [2015]

Who wanted this? Does anyone like this? Why?

Casino Royale [2006]

Casino Royale is close to what I'm looking for in a James Bond movie. I like the glamor and the gambling. Love to see Mads Mikkelsen's character crying tears of blood and administering cock and ball torture. Great. I can't ask for much more. But the way Bond's girlfriend dies at the end is absurd. I guess in the novel she commits suicide because she knows she will always be persued by the organization she worked for, but in the film she just is kind of incidentally drowning anyway and refuses to be saved. I interpreted the scene initially as her trying to get Bond to save himself but he just hauled her body off anyway. I'm still not exactly sure what the movie meant by it.

Bram Stoker's Dracula [1992]

The costumes, sets, the way its edited and shot, amazing. Exactly what I want. But its so fucking horny. I know that horniness and vampires go together like bread and butter. But I don't need a stick of butter on my toast. I want the characters to have some other stuff going on, ideally. But whatever, it kind of doesn't matter because everything looks crazy enough to make up for what it lacks. Mostly.

Krull [1983]

Krull must be the perfect movie to throw on in the background. Just a series of loosely connected fantasy scenes that look cool and don't really need context. Pop in, oh, a wizard fell out of the sky, cool. Do some dishes, come back, and some guys are in a spooky swamp stuck in quicksand. Classic. Come back after a load of laundry and see the cyclops heroically save a bunch of guys and then get crushed to death. Metal.

The Kingdom of Dreams and Madness [2013]

Probably worth watching if you enjoy Ghibli films a lot. Hayao Miyazaki is kind of deified by people who like his films, and he just seems ... too complicated for that. Desperately wished to see more Isao Takahata, but I got the impression that maybe he was avoiding a hostile workplace most of the time, lmao.

Madame Web [2024]

Yes, I have watched this movie before. And I shall watch it again. It fascinates me.

Twilight [2008]

Effervescent.

Allegiant [2016]

Like the other two in the Divergent series, its not too good. But I enjoyed a lot more. Didn't make a lot of sense to me. Amusing that there's just no conclusion.

Brother Bear [2003]

I hyped up this movie so much in my mind. Surely this is the person-turned-bear family bonding film that will satisfy me. Same problems as Brave, except maybe worse. Emotionally unfulfilling. Nothing but montage. The most critical scene, where Big Bro Bear (forgot everone's names already) confessed to Little Bro Bear that he killed Little Brother's mother in cold blood, was a fucking montage. The most important scene skipped essentially. I feel crazy. If that scene was actually present and addressed the complex feelings that it would provoke, it would have saved this movie for me. I'd forgive the dumb canadian moose comic relief brothers if you wrestle with the guilt and regret of killing someone you were taught to hate. That's so compelling. They taunted me with it. And the Little Bro just looks surprised and sits by himself for two minutes and is over it. Hollow.

The Lighthouse [2019]

Second viewing on my partner's request. Every line of dialogue is gold. I love how it looks. These guys are freaks. A sterling example of the two-guys-obsessed-with-hating-each-other cinematic universe.

Brave [2012]

I want to like this movie so bad. Hypothetically I should like this movie. But it feels like a tech demo. Everything feels kinda empty. I don't even like looking at it much. I'm sorry about it because I wish I could like it.

Everything this movie is trying to do is done better in Wolfwalkers, by the way.

Megamind [2010]

Seen this a few times and I always enjoy. Enjoyed it more this time because I just watched Superman 1978.

Sphere [1998]

A mostly boring undersea scifi. There is a sphere though. They delivered.

The Wizard of Oz [1939]

Another one of those classics that really is that good. Also watched this one mostly for Judy Garland ... what can I say, she's a star. Also because I watched The Wiz a little while ago and I thought hell might as well. It is amazing how completely transporting it is. The backdrops are so whimsical. Everyone is a damn icon ... That tornado at the start looks incredible by the way. Everything does.

Insurgent [2015]

I dunno. It wasn't good but it hit the spot.

A Star is Born [1954]

I've watched this before so I must like it. But honestly I'm only here for Judy Garland. Because of that, I'm usually left wishing the movie was more ... about her character. Obviously it is, right. But in the second half it focuses more and more on James Mason's character and his feelings and his self destruction and less and less on Garland.

Superman [1978]

Definitely a lot of fun. Fun to look at too. I think some of the choices detracted. My partner compared Lex Luthor's depiction to Penguin in Batman Returns and I have to agree. But it doesn't work quite as well. I just don't think of Luthor as being as comic - I want to be able to take him seriously. It undermines the tension and tilts the tone too much into comedy. I think the first half of the movie struck the balance better.

Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus [2005]

I think this is the best Barbie movie I've seen yet. Kind of weird that the bear was so thirsty for Barbie's man. Uhh ... That's a sentence.

Big Eden [2000]

I keep coming back to this movie because it is so blissfully sweet. It is a very traditional rom-com narrative; city guy goes to small town and discovers love. A million like that. But I rarely like them as much as I like this. And, you know, its 2000 and this romance is gay. So that makes it fairly unusual. Also, its fuckin' Stardew Valley over there. They have cute festivals even. This whole town is loveable.

They're in like a utopic Montana town where nobody seems to be homophobic, which, quite frankly, is refreshing. I think when you're making a rom-com, which is usually kind of an aspirational fantasy anyway, its nice to present an idealized version of the world. Like I'm watching a rom-com first and foremost to have a good time, I don't necessarily need to have a homophobia plotline ... I can go to any other gay movie for that.

Besides, since main man Henry is closeted, seemingly out of shame, there's at least the implication that homophobia does indeed exist in this world, just not in this town. Kind of gets the best of both worlds that way; the relatable reality that many queer men have internalize shame (which gets released in a very touching scene without forcing him to come out) and the safety of a community that loves and wants the best for you.

Furthermore ... Pike. Like a true Stardew Valley resident, he knows that daily deliveries of cooked meals will secure the heart of his love interest ...

Follow That Bird [1985]

This was pretty cute. Partner put it on after we discussed roadtrip movies, since of course we just watched Little Miss Sunshine.

Little Miss Sunshine [2006]

I forgot how good this movie is. Definitely the quintessential 2000s indie film in all respects. Like if you need a movie to exemplify the decade, this is it, imo. Unfortunately extremely relatable family dynamics for me ...

Persuasion [2022]

Boo! Having just finished the novel I thought I'd watch this notorious adaptation. I was hoping that I'd actually find something to like about it because adaptations often differ from the source material in significant ways and I thought maybe everyone was just being a hater. And maybe that's still true. But this film is pretty bad. Nothing could land because of the noncommittal blend of era-appropriate with modern slang. I couldn't take it seriously when it was trying to be serious or laugh when it was trying to be funny. If they had just made it set in modern times, maybe that would be fine. Or at least a lot less objectionable. Its just jarring when a story relies on the conventions of the 1800s but we sometimes speak like its 2020. Anne is a completely different character and consequently much that was interesting about Persuasion is lost.

The Wiz [1978]

This is a fun movie. It is completely packed with songs. Maybe it could have used some breathing room at times. The way it was shot also felt pretty static. But these issues don't really diminish the magic that it has.

Luca [2021]

I made a lot of assumptions about this movie that caused me to put it off. But when I finally watched it I was surprised by how subtly the emotions were conveyed. I didn't think Pixar could do that anymore.

KPop Demon Hunters [2025]

Loved pretty much everything about this. Nice to look at, funny without being too stupid, great soundtrack.

Joan of Arc [1900]

Felt like I was watching a parade. Quite stylish and technically impressive considering its 125 years old.

City Lights [1931]

Watched again with my partner. One of my absolute favorites of all time, surely. Its like this tumblr post

Wish Upon a Star [1996]

I was put off by some aspects of this movie but as far as bodyswap movies go, it was alright.

Cyrano [2021]

I'm here for the hot guy. I think this movie had good moments but was overall kind of disappointing. Or at least felt like there were too many missed opportunities.

Captain America [1990]

I know this is regarded as the worst superhero movie ever by some people. But I liked it. I can't explain it. I just liked this Captain America. I liked that the movie felt absurd and pulpy - that's comics to me. Well, some comics. Bad ones maybe. But there was also this undercurrent of surreal, satire? Maybe? They scoop up this guy and make him a super soldier. Immediately afterward they're on a plane flying to a mission and he just seems confused, asking if he's going to get a team or what. No you're on your own soldier, here's your parachute. He's fighting fascists by himself with no help and one of them is a goddamn skeleton. He gets strapped to a rocket and sent to blow up the White House and nobly redirects it to Alaska where he freezes until the 90s. When he wakes up he's immediately persued by baddies and some guy picks him up in his car and he's unsure if this is a deception and he's getting decades of history unloaded on him and his family must be all dead by now and this has all taken place in the last 12 hours from his perspective - sickening! And Captain America tells this guy driving, I feel sick, pull over. And when they get out Captain America runs to the driver side and steals the car. And he does that more than once. To me, this is America.

Frankie and Johnny [1966]

Look, I don't know. Elvis is more engaged in this one compared to Clambake and Paradise, Hawaiian Style. Someone (not me) could listen to the soundtrack without going insane. The costumes were anachronistic but in a fun way. Hated everyone though.

To Be or Not to Be [1942]

A comedy about nazis. You might be worried comedy from this time period won't hit but it does. The construction of it is so tight, the pace is insane, the performers are perfect. It is a comedy but it knows when to be serious and it maintains a high tension throughout. Check it out if you hate nazis.

Captain America: The First Avenger [2011]

Boyfriend put this on so obviously I sat my ass down to watch because who am I to turn down a movie ... It was actually pretty fun. There have been a lot worse.

The General [1926]

Its a classic for good reason. It looks crazy and I was feeling anxious imagining all the ways people could've been killed getting spooled up in machinery. Gotta say though, its disappointing that Buster Keaton decided to change the perspective of the story so that the confederates were the protagonists ... Especially because this story is based on a real event. I guess that I should expect that type of thing, given the era that this was made. The Birth of a Nation was released 11 years before this and its impact was massive and so was the profit. I can kind of see why he would have thought audiences were more sympatheic to the confederacy - it seems like they were. But that's not a good reason to do it. And honestly I don't really give him the benefit of the doubt that it was just a cynical business decision. If money was first on his mind, I don't think he would have run so over budget. Shit, this movie flopped financially anyway; if that was the reason to modify the story's perspective it evidently didn't make a difference. Its a stain on this picture and on Keaton, imo, I can't really get over it. And its tough because this movie is a technical marvel and eminently watchable. Alas, movies are kind of evil and if you get into them as an interest you will encounter this disappointing situation constantly.

The Great Mouse Detective [1986]

So I've seen this one before but it was long enough to forget most of the details. Might be king of the animated mouse movies, I'm not sure. Its competing with The Secret of NIMH (from the same year I think even?) and that film is gorgeous. I convinced myself that Great Mouse Detective was a flop for some reason - but apparently it was the exact opposite. I 'spose that I assumed that because it feels like it holds no cultural impact compared to other Disney movies of comparable quality. But I could have just missed it.

The Duellists [1977]

Guys, why are you fighting when you can just make out.

This is perhaps the ultimate "guys fighting for no reason" movie, although there are endless such films so who knows.

Jenny's Wedding [2015]

Someone on Letterboxd wrote that it was the straightest lesbian movie they've watched ... yeah, it does feel like that. Jenny want a normal, traditional wedding but she's gay and not out to her family. Her family dynamic is pretty off from the start. Everyone seems to gossip about each other. Jenny decides to come out to her parents, who encourage her to stay closeted for the sake of their social lives. She does so, but it causes her relationship with her parents to become superficial. They drift apart. Things escalate after Jenny decides to be open about her relationship publically, introducing her partner to someone at a funeral. For some reason this causes her dad to pull her aside and ask her which one of them is the man in bed. Yeah. Mind you we're still at a funeral. Jenny shouts out that her dad is asking who wears the strap. He's mad, stuff happens, the parents feel lonely so they try to stop being homophobic for the wedding.

There's some other stuff. Jenny's sister is jealous of the relationship she has with their mother and also is in an unhappy marriage. It could have been interesting but it didn't feel fully integrated. It is, at times, flirting with being a rom com except there isn't much that's actually funny and not horrible. Jenny and her fiancee Kitty are completely sidelined in favor of focusing on their parents, so it's not romantic either.

As I've mentioned with other movies before, I don't necessarily mind if the story centers around some homophobes if it adequately explores why they have this flaw and don't try to remove culpability for the harm it inflicts. Unfortunately, I wasn't satisfied by how this film tried to do that. Mom seems to only be concerned about her social standing. Dad ... well, he has disturbing fixations on his daughter's sex life, apparently, and feels hurt that she would be mad at him for that? Uhh? I don't think one half-assed apology at the wedding will repair this relationship.

By far the worst thing is the emphasis on how Jenny "lied" for "so long." Her whole family brings this up constantly and its the main conflict of the first half of the movie. Jenny herself seems to agree. Its absurd that coming out would be framed that way. Its absurd that this isn't countered in the movie. Why doesn't Jenny's fiancee say, honey no, its fine not to have come out to your insane, prying, bigoted family before now? Ugh.

Conan the Barbarian [1981]

What can I say. It looks cool. It is adapting pulp fiction so it is very pulpy. It succeeds at what it does.

Who Am I Now [2021]

So. This is obviously a small budget picture. I think the leads were fairly promising. But it fell apart pretty fast, unfortunately. Basically, two women realize they are attracted to one another, one (Alex) wants commitment and wants to be open about their relationship, the other (Erin) is noncommittal and closeted. Fine, but the intensity is way, way, too high. Alex is yelling at Erin for not figuring out her orientation fast enough. She has sex with men, so it kind of feels like she might be bisexual, but the script leaves no room for even the thought of that. Alex, certainly, has no reason to assume that Erin is exclusively homosexual after one encounter ...

Alex is also extremely jealous and punches one of their mutual friends for a one night stand he has with Erin. Mind you, they aren't dating. Insanely, this is all forgiven, and he concedes that Alex must be more in love than he is with Erin. Alex even outs Erin to their friend group and this is all framed as necessary or even for her own good.

By the end of the movie Alex moves on (to her tutor) and her feeling for Erin seem to go from 100 to 0. Now she says she only wanted Erin to come out for her own sake, not so they could be together. Ok. It kind of felt like we were bullying this woman into dating us and then when she didn't instantly commit we dropped her like an old toy.

You Can Live Forever [2022]

Continuing my impromptu Tubi lesbian film series. I'm logging Who Am I Now and Jenny's Wedding at the same time as You Can Live Forever so I can't help but compare them, along with the last two lesbian movies I watched. Live Forever is easily the best of them.

The story focuses on a gay teen, Jaime, sent to live with her aunt and uncle in a small town in Quebec. Jamie's father died, evidently, and her mother sent her off to her relatives. Her aunt and uncle are Jehovah's Witnesses and bring her to services with them. When she's there, she meets Marike, and the two become close, spending time distributing pamphlets and attending bible study (despite Jamie's apprehensions).

Isolation seems to afflict everyone. Jamie is left alone by her mother after what we must assume is a traumatic event. She travels alone to a town where she knows no one her age and struggles to speak the language. She even drops her walkman in the river, severing a comforting connection to normalcy. She is further isolated by the Jehovah's Witnesses, who subtly police each other's behavior. Eating cake on her birthday results in Jamie's contact with Marike being restricted to supervised events. Jamie and Marike, now becoming romantically involved, are forced to hide affectionate gestures in plain sight and steal moments they have in private. Eventually, Jamie's uncle witnesses [pun] her kissing Marike, and informs Marike's father, who informs the congregation the next meeting that Marike is getting engaged. Marike reveals that it was her idea, and that she believes she and Jamie can be together after death. Jamie decides to return home. Years later, she returns to find Marike with a young child, still harboring feelings for Jamie.

This film goes for realism and it nails it. These people feel like they exist. As often is the case, this fundamentalist community doesn't need to scream and shout to manipulate its members into conforming to social expectations. Members simply watch each other, and knowing you're being watched changes your behavior. Just buying a slice of cake can land you in trouble and get you shunned. A single kiss results in social consequence severe enough that Marike thinks an engagement is the solution.

It doesn't hurt that this film looks great. It has a warm, nostalgic feeling to it ... the beginning riding the train, the warm incandescent light at night, the plushness of beds and sofas Jamie flops into ... its inviting. But it seems to make the alienation feel worse.

If you have any interest in queer films about religion, this is definitely worth checking out.

Back to the Future: Part III [1990]

I don't have nostalgia goggles for these movies. I don't have nostalgia for the nostalgia in these movies. Uh, that is to say, I don't really look with uncritical fondness on the 1950s, or classic westerns, or the actual 1880s. Or the 1980s. And I didn't grow up watching these, so I mostly feel indifference. That said, I liked this one the best of the three. The writing felt tighter, and it benefits from the payoff the second movie sets up.

The Truth About Jane [2000]

So, kind of underwhelming and frustrating at times. Basically, Jane is a lesbian and her parents aren't supportive. The mom particularly struggles to cope. She throws a fit, in fact. She threatens to send Jane to boarding school. She threatens to get a lesbian teacher fired. She doesn't really apologize for that. But she does go to PFLAG meetings and learns how to say lesbian out loud without crying. Amazing!

I actually don't mind stories that choose to focus on the phobic parents if there's good reason. Either you have to show some kind of insight into the character, or actually give them a more meaningful arc. But maybe this is too big an ask for a 2000 Lifetime movie.

Claire of the Moon [1992]

This was incredibly not great ... kind of interesting just as an artifact. Some extremely pretentious, radfem, gender essentialist type dialogue between the characters. But I guess that's the 90s for you. The characters are ostensibly there for a writing retreat but seemingly do no writing. Mostly they seem to gaze forlornly at stuff or bicker with each other.

The Heroic Trio [1993]

PLEASE! Watch this movie! Oh my god! These women are so fucking cool. Women enjoyers rejoice. Babies are kidnapped. Three superpowered badasses are drawn into the case despite conflicting motivations. Martial combat. Skeletons. People are beheaded. Its so silly, but in the best way.

Carol [2015]

A favorite of mine.

Back to the Future 2 [1989]

Like the first one, I kind of don't connect with it. And I think there are both more things that I like and more things that I hate. But its fun enough.

Robin Hood [1973]

My partner wanted to rewatch this, and admittedly I was naysaying a bit. Its better than I remember. It's pretty fun and its nice to look at.

Safety Last [1923]

Frightening. Both the death-defying stunt climb and the customer service.

Jodorowsky's Dune [2013]

So Jodorowsky is certainly an influential director and this interview is interesting and the topic is compelling. A lot of high profile creatives were assembled to do a bunch of concept work for a movie that would have been hypothetically cool to look at. That is interesting ... but I think this doc should have taken a bit more critical position. Jodorowsky says stuff that is pretty questionable. The whole venture was clearly mismanaged and unrealistic. It might be better that it was never made, because the myth-making around this Dune concept is probably more interesting than what could have been produced. Although I'm sure Emperor Salvador Dalí would have been worth the $100,000 per minute.

Madmax 2 [1981]

So cool ... terrifying to imagine shooting this movie, though. Maybe I need to check out some behind the scenes stuff.

Troy [2004]

Not too good. Scenes that stick out in my memory: Achillies' goofy playfighting with his cousin Patroclus at the start, the giant flaming balls, any shot of Priam reacting O_O (Peter O_O'To_ole).

I wish I knew a bit more about the source material. Considering how ambitious adapting the Illiad is, maybe this is an okay attempt (because that sounds impossible). I mean, it's pretty bad but it is tolerable to watch. I sat though it all. For what that's worth.

Star Trek: Generations [1994]

Watched with writers' commentary. The opposite of the Nemesis director's commentary. They had interesting observations, remembered their rationale behind writing things as they did, reflected on what they would have done differently.

Star Trek: Nemesis [2002]

Watched this with director's commentary. Abysmal. He didn't seem to have much to say about his movie, other than he didn't know anything about Star Trek. He seemed totally disinterested. Was apparently starstruck by Patrick Stewart and could barely remember the rest of the cast.

Cowboys [2020]

I'm basically 1000% hostile toward parents that are transphobic toward their own kids, so I think its a major achievement that this movie got me to empathize with the mom. There are hardly any movies about trans kids so I'm not sure if my expectations are low or not, but I was satisfied by how the situation is framed. I think this would not be alienating to a parent that is 'on the fence' (*blech*) about supporting their trans kid, and it might sway them to change their mind or at least normalize the idea. Media about this topic is desperately needed (or it is, at least, the only movie I've personally seen on this topic), so I welcome it and hope there will be more eventually ...

Die Another Day [2002]

An ice palace? A space solar weapon? They're sword fighting? He's surfing. Diamond encrusted bad guy? Hovercrafts. Scorpions. This movie really lays it on thick. Good I say! Lay it on me!

Tempest [1960]

I don't feel like I understand the Tempest after watching this. I don't have much context. Ariel was gender, though ...

Forbidden Planet [1956]

This was a rewatch but it has been a long time since I first saw it. For some reason I was convinced the daughter character was conjured from Dr Morbius's mind just like the monster. Apparently my partner expected this too. I guess I was imagining more of a Twilight Zone episode.

The visuals are a lot of fun.

The Thing from Another World [1951]

I was surprised by how fun it was. The fire stunts were honestly terrifying to watch. Apparently it had one of the first movies to have a full body fire stunt like that.

The numerous characters were all kind of blending together for me, besides the journalist and the main scientist, and nobody was as worked up as I would be if a vampire plant alien was on a killing spree.

Every decision they made was a bit embarrassing … they accidentally blew up the ufo with thermite (whoops), they brought The Thing, frozen in an ice cube, inside (don’t worry they broke a window so the room would be cold) and then left an electric blanket on it, melting it (whoops). The main scientist collects the Thing’s seed () and use up all their plasma to feed the sprouts (because Dr. Mad Scientist is obsessed ). At least the giant bug zapper they built to kill the Thing worked.

Watched this as part of a rewatch of the series. Its a wonderful bridge to Steven Universe Future while still functioning ably as a stand-alone story. All the songs are great, integrated well and hit emotionally (as always). The gem reset element is a clever way of reintroducing background information about the cast while also showing the audience how much these characters have changed since coming to Earth.

Spinel leaves a big impression considering she is (almost) a one off character. I guess her story crystalizes (pun) a theme already present - abandonment. Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz has already been characterized as someone who likes novelty, who plays with people like toys before moving on to something new. Throughout the series, the Crystal Gems have been struggling with her decision to leave them by becoming/creating Steven. So it makes perfect sense to introduce this character that was created to be a toy for Pink, who was then literally abandoned to total isolation. Spinel gives voice to a feeling of betrayal that all the gems seem to have had but were reticent to express.

And, of course, her design is just a ton of fun. The rubber hose style combined with a jester, I mean c'mon. A cute default mode with a heart cut gem and heart shaped pigtails! And depressed clown mode with the running mascara lines. Iconic.

Anyway, I like this series a lot so of course I like the movie. I know some people don't like Spinel's resolution, going with the Diamonds. I think it just makes sense; they have something to offer each other and they both have something in common (being left behind by Pink). Perhaps this is an imperfect or imbalanced relationship dynamic, but the show has never shied from imperfect relationships. Growing and changing despite of or in result of imperfect conditions is basically the whole show. But besides that, I also can't imagine Spinel having a happy or healthy time on Earth surrounded by people Pink preferred over her.

I could go on forever; maybe I'll come back to this :P

This is exactly what I'm looking for out of horror. Developing characters! Paralleling the supernatural horrors with the mundane horrors of the real world.

Happy to see trebuchets and whatever. But. Not particularly fun to look at most of the time. Not particularly engaging. Only thing I really enjoyed was Robert Pattinson's campy performance.

Ace Ventura [1994]

The transphobia hurt it for me, sure, but I didn't find the rest of it funny, either.

Lawrence of Arabia [1962]

Yes it has its problems, and I can see why that would be a deal breaker for a modern viewer. However. I loved it.

Persuasion [2007]

The way this was filmed made it comic. Its not the worst Persuasion adaptation, though.

First Daughter [2004]

I don't know why I watched this, nor do I remember much from it.

Conclave [2024]

I wasn't as pulled into it as some people seemed to be, but I enjoyed. Definitely has a lot of components that I like. It feels like a movie I will appreciate more upon rewatch, which surely will happen eventually.

Splash [1984]

So, this is a movie I watched a lot as a kid. In retrospect, not a movie for a kid to watch. But it had a mermaid. I must have had a crush on her. I enjoyed the atmosphere but not much else.

Gladiator [2000]

Uhhh, you know, its okay. Not really for me, I guess.

The Last Command [1928]

Pretty interesting. The protaganist is a former Czarist commander who is now impoverished and taking a job as a film extra. Dimensional (by silent era standards), tragic, noble, but with a sinister aspect. Some early self-reflection on Hollywood, as well.

The Company of Strangers [1990]

A slow, sweet, contemplative film featuring a cast of older women from diverse backgrounds who get stranded in the wilderness. A very life-affirming movie, but not without its heartbreak.

Out of Africa [1985]

I hate this movie. It is the most tedious movie I've ever seen.

Ugetsu [1953]

Perfect for me, my exact shit. A fable about the consequences of greed. And there's ghosts.

Marriage Story [2019]

Y'know, it wasn't life changing but it was perfectly engaging and well acted. Reminded me of Kramer vs Kramer.

Blue [2002]

An atmospheric, lonely romance. I think it does drag a bit. That might enhance the feelings of disconnectedness.

Magnolia [1999]

It feels like it shouldn't work, but it does. There's so much going on and its great.

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind [1984]

Bugs! Bugs! Bugs!

Timmy the Tooth (multiple) [1995]

Okay, so Timmy. He's a tooth man. And his dog/roommate is a toothbrush. He goes to the beach, and to space, and the wild west. I don't know. I watched all of these straight-to-VHS episodes because my partner grew up watching a couple of them. They are fun if you like kids' puppet shows.

Legend [1985]

The story is kind of unimportant. What's important is the glitter and the unicorns.

Straight-Jacket [2004]

This is a low-budget but very cute gay film about a closeted actor trying to navigate his personal life during McCarthyism. Sounds serious but it is primarily a comedy.

The Company of Wolves [1984]

Insane, freaky, and dreamlike. Loved it.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post [2018]

Kind of a more serious dramatic take on But I'm a Cheerleader. I liked it a lot.

Red River [1948]

A fun western with an ending that practically ruins it.

A Minecraft Movie [2025]

I watched the leaked version where the CGI wasn't finished. I don't think I would have finished it otherwise.

Yentl [1983]

There's clearly so much passion in the production of this film. I think there's plenty to like about it, though there are aspects of it that I found frustrating. I'm not the best judge of musicals, as I am kind of disinclined to like them.

Igby Goes Down [2002]

Everyone says this is like a trial-run Roman Roy because Igby is played by Kieran Culkin. That's pretty accurate. Its basically just an dramedy about Igby's extremely dysfunctional family issues.

Ne Zha [2019]

Fun, but unsurprisingly, juvenile. I liked it when it was taking itself more seriously.

Back to the Future [1985]

I see the appeal. Its fun enough. Just not my type, I guess.

Miss Oyu [1951]

I remember enjoying this alright but its not my favorite Mizoguchi by any stretch.

My Little Pony: Rainbow Roadtrip [2019]

I didn't know this existed. Its a MLP:FIM special animated in the same style as the theatrical movie. Interesting as a novelty. I like seeing the style of animation but its also a little uncanny if you're used to the show.

Millennium Actress [2001]

One of my favorite movies ever. Everything about it is magic to me.

Coraline [2009]

Its great. Probably the best of Laika films and maybe the best of Henry Selick's, too. Unfortunately, now tainted by association with Gaiman.

Paradise, Hawaiian Style [1966]

Horrendous. Elvis seemed to feel like acting this time, at least. Don't watch this unless you are some kind of Elvis fanatic. Even then you probably shouldn't.

Clambake [1967]

Elvis was totally checked out. The songs were awful. Barely any clams and nobody was baked.

The Flying Deuces [1939]

My first Laurel and Hardy movie as far as I can remember. Silly little comedy.

Encanto [2021]

I liked many aspects of this but I think it bit off too much. No thread felt satisfactorily resolved to me.

All Quiet on the Western Front [2022]

War movies often don't work for me. I think I struggle with the genre as a concept. Its been a long time since I've seen the original so I can't really compare them. This was alright. It was a spectacle. I wanted something else from it, but I can't articulate what.

Ernest Goes to School [1994]

It is Ernest.

Moana 2 [2024]

I don't remember anything. That's probably not good.

Sherlock Jr. [1924]

Amazing editing. My boyfriend teased me for cheesing the whole time.

Venom: The Last Dance [2024]

Definitely the most entertaining of the franchise.

Currently In Progress

I'm slow and I usually juggle a few. Is this a good habit? I don't care
• Moby Dick (Ishmael would love wikipedia)
• Cinema's Original Sin / Paul McEwan
• The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes / Suzanne Collins
• Challenger / Adam Higginbotham
• Gay Berlin / Robert Beachy (whoops I kinda forgot ...)
• God Emperor of Dune / Frank Herbert
(good god I've got to finish some of these)

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes / Suzanne Collins

So, I enjoyed the Hunger Games trilogy. I thought it was pretty solid. There were elements that didn't completely mesh for me, and while I was overall interested in the idea behind it, the final book had some wobbliness. I think the third installment showed a bit too much of the seams, explored the inner workings of the world a bit too much (for me at least). The premise feels a bit too unreal, a bit crumbly. It works best as a kind of abstraction. The less I know about the government and its specific reasoning for creating the Hunger Games, the better, in my opinion.

Songbirds and Snakes is a prequel novel that covers the games that future despotic president and original trilogy villian Coriolanus Snow participated in. Initially I wasn't sure what value there would be in examining this character, and was worried that the book would over explain the circumstances that shaped the games. Well, Snow turned out to be quite interesting, and a wonderful foil / compliment to Katniss. He is self interested, cold, and frequently ghoulish, but he feels human. Its not hard to feel sympathy for his situation (at least sometimes), especially in contrast with some of his peers. Showing his perspective illustrates how easily prioritizing one's self interest can lead them to reinforce violent structures of power. There are many opportunities for him to do the right thing, to realize the cruelty of the world they're in and resist it. And despite knowing where he ends up, I found myself hoping for it.

I think there were a few parts that didn't work that well for me. Dr. Gaul, in general, was a bit too much of a cartoon villian for me (which I think is saying something, considering what I tend to like). I don't think it helps to create a singular architect to these games and just assign the reason for their creation to, y'know, an individual psychopath. That diminishes the impact of them as a metaphor for the various violent acts and dehumanizations perpetrated by governments to maintain control. At the same time, I guess we live in a world with quite a few malicious villians that seem to have nothing motivating them but sadism. Maybe if she was just less exaggerated I would feel differently. Not sure.

The appeal of Snow is that the reader might understand his rationale for participating in the Hunger Games; the average ('first world') reader is, quite frankly, more likely to relate to the problems Snow faces than Katniss or Lucy Gray. As a result they might examine their own relationship to power. That's cool. Interesting. His characterization flattens out a bit toward the end, I think. I can easily believe his relationship to Lucy Gray is superficial enough that he would betray her for better opportunities. But his hysteria over the birds felt ... well, I don't know. I see that his aversion/disgust to class-mixing was set up by his internal reactions to Sejanus Plinth, and obviously must come to a head somehow with Lucy Gray. Obviously, the mockingjays are working on a metaphorical level and are a callback to the original trilogy. But it seems like Snow's extreme reaction is meant as unnecessary overexplaination for his later behavior. Like he's gotta beef with the birds themselves and not just be triggered by the memory they provoke.

I'm nitpicking about this stuff, though. The book is pretty solid young adult dystopia, much like the original books, and definitely a nice compliment to them. I think the peaks of this book might rise higher than the original trilogy, at times. Maybe the valleys are lower, too.

I notice some of the negative reviews simply find this book boring. I guess that makes sense. What appeals to me about the Collins' writing is that it gives a lot of insight into the protaganist's thoughts. When I was reading The Hunger Games, I dngaf about the mutants or whatever, I was interested in Katniss and her reaction to these traumas, which felt surprisingly nuanced. I think the same is true with Songbirds and Snakes. However, it is even more of a character study with considerably less physical peril for the protaganist. So if someone was just here for thrills and killing they may indeed be bored.

Don't know why I wrote so much for this when I'll write like two lines for a classic.

The Witch of Lime Street / David Jaher

Apparently I couldn't get enough of witches this year so I listened to this magic-themed book as well. It covers English / American spiritualism in the early 20th century, and more specifically, the supposed medium Mina Crandon. Crandon becomes famous for her seances where, with the help of her ghostly dead brother, she "demonstrates" various magical abilities - moving objects, generating ectoplasm, and generating meaty "spirit hands" out of her, uh, orifices.

A Room with a View / E. M. Forster

I struggle understanding the rules and performing the rituals of social exchanges. I would instantly drop dead after interacting with these Edwardians.

The Ruin of All Witches / Malcolm Gaskill

Great Halloween reading material. Interesting to see how petty grievences between family and neighbors twists into ritualistic scapegoating.

People who are excluded by the social system become release valves for town tensions. Your husband is a pariah. You can't get a divorce, you can't get marital counseling. If your husband emotionally abuses you, its probably your fault anyway. Your life is nothing but work. You risk your life giving birth only for one of your children to get sick and die. All of your friends gossip about you. You crossed the ocean to get here, and its hell. If you're suffering, its probably because of some moral failing in yourself. You are a true believer in God and Satan.

Confessing to witchcraft in those circumstances almost seems like an escape.

Copper Script / KJ Charles

The promise of graphology enticed me. There wasn't all that much of it really. But I guess that's on me. This is a romance with just a dab of magic pseudoscience on the side. Fortunately, I liked the leads quite a bit. They seemed like believable people. I liked that they had a bit of ideological conflict with each other and seemed to care about the world outside of their romantic interests.

Cultish / Amanda Montell

Its fine as an introduction to the idea of cult like behavior, I guess. Its not particularly precise or focused. I didn't really like the conclusions it came to. It felt a bit surface level and repeated a lot of popular opinions I've seen expressed about cult-like organizations without much more insight.

Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda / Becky Albertalli

I was kind of anticipating hating it, which was probably unfair. It was actually quite cute. Its a fairly cozy story, homophobic blackmail aside, where parents are supportive and your peers and teachers largely have your back. Its maybe not that simple for most of us in real life, but it is important for a kid to be able to see how it could be. Or should be.

Song of Spiderman / Glen Berger

A personal account of writing for the maligned Spiderman Musical. I enjoyed this as low stakes-ish gossip. It probably helps to have some familiarity with production before reading. The author doesn't exactly sound like a reliable narrator, to be honest. The whole thing is kind of out of touch despite desperately lampshading that fact.

Persuasion / Jane Austen

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A Neon Darkness / Lauren Shippen

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Children of Dune / Frank Herbert

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Heretic / Jeanna Kadlec

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Rogue Protocol / Martha Wells

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Bury Your Gays / Chuck Tingle

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Call Me By Your Name / André Aciman

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Artifical Condition / Martha Wells

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Inside Mari / Shūzō Oshimi

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Woodworking / Emily St. James

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The Out Side / Anthology

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Age of Legends / Michael J. Sullivan

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Riley Reynolds Slays the Play / Jay Albee

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Too Bright to See / Kyle Lukoff

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Dune Messiah / Frank Herbert

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The City and the City / China Miéville

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Pride and Prejudice / Jane Austin

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A Marvellous Light / Freya Marske

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The Price of Salt / Patricia Highsmith

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Divine Might / Natalie Haynes

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American Zion / Benjamin E. Park

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Bad Blood / John Carreyrou

Heiresses / Laura Thompson

Highly Illogical Behavior / John Corey Whaley

What Moves the Dead / T. Kingfisher

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality / Jane Ward

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Age of War / Michael J. Sullivan

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Pandora's Jar / Natalie Haynes

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Denali's Howl / Andy Hall

I'm Glad My Mom Died / Jennette McCurdy

Raybearer / Jordan Ifueko